Hello, everyone. Today we're taking a look at 1 Minute Anal Care: The RPG Where You Turn Into a Dick If You Don't Have Anal Sex Every Minute.

One glance at the title and you'll probably do a double-take — maybe even a triple-take. Developed by Monokage Club, what might seem at first like a pure shock-value title turns out, upon closer inspection, to be a surprisingly well-crafted game built on the solid bones of a classic fantasy RPG. It holds a perfect score of 4.53 across 19 reviews, and its 498 copies sold speak quietly but confidently to its quality.

Let's start with the core "curse" mechanic that drives the entire game. The moment our hero pulls the holy sword Excalibur from its stone, he finds himself afflicted with a curse that causes his cock and his lust to grow without limit. His quest: defeat the Demon Lord and break the curse. The framework is refreshingly straightforward — the classic "hero slays the Demon Lord" structure — and it's precisely that familiar backbone that makes the game's wildly unique premise pop all the more brilliantly.

At the heart of the gameplay is a real-time clock mechanic. Every sixty seconds of real-world time, the curse activates and the hero ends up having anal sex with whoever is nearby — party members, enemies, townsfolk, you name it. An anal creampie temporarily suppresses the curse, but at a cost: the partner's stats are halved, and any character whose anal uses reach zero is gone for good. This "permanent departure" system — less a game over and more a bittersweet farewell — gives the game a tension and pathos all its own. Departing characters leave behind a keepsake called a "Gift from Heaven," which converts into power for the hero. It's a design that masterfully blends genuine loss with absurdist erotic humor, and it's a flavor entirely unique to this game.

The battle system also has some clever tricks up its sleeve.

• Strategy revolves around party composition across all 21 characters and equipment upgrades
• Battles themselves are fully automatic and fast-paced, keeping the momentum flowing
• A touch/grope mechanic on the hero lets you manage the countdown to the next curse activation
• Four difficulty settings to choose from: EASY, NORMAL, HARD, and No Future

With fully automated, command-free combat, what players actually control is party composition, gear selection, and time management via the touch mechanic. This isn't a game where you can just sit back and do nothing — it demands genuine strategic thinking about preparation and when to buy yourself more time. That gives it real teeth as an RPG. Whether you want a laid-back playthrough or a deep, min-maxed challenge run, the game has you covered, and that versatility is genuinely impressive.

The cast is equally diverse and memorable. There's the Wizard, the hero's cool-headed best friend and magical powerhouse; the Raider, a rugged hunter encountered in the snowy mountains; the Grappler, a tenacious martial artist lurking in the volcano; the Cleric, a compassionate healer from the deep sea; an ancient Elven veteran of the forest; and a Fox Demon, one of the Demon Lord's Four Heavenly Kings. Each character fills a distinct mechanical role, and your party choices meaningfully shape how the game unfolds. Every character is fully voiced, making it easy to grow attached to your companions along the way.

Genre tags include femboy, monster girl, futanari, and ahegao moaning — so if any of those are your thing, this game is almost certainly going to hit the mark. There are four or more distinct endings to discover, and your choices throughout the run determine which fate awaits you. New Game+ carries over equipment and items, making it easy to dive into a second run gunning for a different ending. A fully featured scene recollection mode is also included.

A cursed hero who keeps pushing forward, dragging his companions along for the ride — this game proudly calls itself a "serious (ass) classic fantasy," and it earns that title, blending laughs with genuine warmth and melancholy in a way that lingers long after the credits roll. With a perfect rating to back it up, this is a thoroughly polished work worthy of your time. Go ahead and dig in — deep.